Cheap WoW Gold, Q3: The Quarterly Gold Review Nobody Asked For

Gold Operations Quarterly Review: Distribution Restricted to Whoever Is Reading This

Prepared by the Office of Coin, Subcommittee on Things We Meant to Track. Circulated without being requested. Please do not forward; nobody will.

Section 1. Executive Summary

The quarter saw gold enter the organisation, gold leave the organisation, and, on several occasions, gold sit in a bag while we wondered why it was there. Management is pleased to report that the economy of Azeroth remains an economy. Retail operations under the Midnight expansion at level 90 continued to generate demand for consumables, and Classic realms continued to generate demand for patience. Some members of the workforce elected to supplement internal production with Cheap WoW Gold, a line item that was reviewed, noted, and filed under Strategic Convenience.

Section 2. Highlights

• Auction house activity was described by the committee as “active,” a word chosen because it could not be disproved.
• Herb routes were optimised. Several were then un-optimised after a detour to look at a nice view.
• Guild bank consolidation reached a milestone: one tab is now labelled correctly.
• Dungeon throughput increased in all dungeons that were entered.
• Mount acquisition remains the primary driver of long-term saving, and the primary reason the long-term saving is not long-term.

Section 3. Variance Analysis

Actual gold performance differed from projected gold performance, as it does every quarter. The variance is attributed to three factors: an unplanned enchant, an impulse purchase of a very large bag, and what the finance team refers to only as “the incident with the transmog.” Further detail is available upon request, though we recommend against making one.

It should be noted that the forecast was drawn on a napkin. The napkin has since been lost. This does not affect the accuracy of the forecast, which was never formally measured.

Section 3a. Capital Expenditure

Major outlays this quarter fell into three categories: things that were needed, things that were wanted, and things that were needed in the sense that wanting them had become a recurring agenda item. The committee has proposed a fourth category, “gems,” which covers all of the above and also sparkles. Approval is pending. The approval is also sparkling.

Spending on flasks, food, and other consumables was found to be directly proportional to how seriously the group took the evening, and inversely proportional to how seriously the group admitted it took the evening. No corrective action is recommended. The numbers are fine. The numbers are always fine.

Section 4. Departmental Updates

Crafting. Production continued at a steady pace. Quality of output was described as “good” by the crafters and “fine” by the customers, a gap the department intends to close by changing neither.

Gathering. Morale is strong. Bags are full. Nobody remembers the last time they were empty, including the bags.

Raiding. Repair costs were incurred. Progress was made. The two are believed to be related.

Returning Players. A cohort of colleagues rejoined the realm this quarter and were issued a welcome, a map, and a mild sense of dread at the size of the to-do list. Onboarding for this group is ongoing and will continue until further notice, or until they discover the profession window.

Auction Desk. The desk reports that prices went up, went down, and then did both at once on a Tuesday. An internal memo describing this as “the market finding itself” was rejected as unhelpful, then reinstated as the department motto.

Classic Realms Liaison. Operations on the older servers remain steady and slightly slower, owing to a cultural attachment to walking. Productivity metrics are unavailable because the liaison went for a walk.

Section 5. Outlook

The committee expects gold to continue to be earned, spent, saved, lost, and discussed. Confidence in this projection is high. Confidence in everything else is moderate.

Looking ahead, leadership will pursue the following priorities, in no particular order, and ideally in a different order than last time:

1. Review the bank tabs again.
2. Decide, once and for all, between crafting and selling raw materials. Revisit next quarter.
3. Schedule a meeting to discuss scheduling fewer meetings.
4. Continue to treat gold as a tool for doing things in the game, rather than a number to admire in a bag.

Appendix A. Glossary of Terms Used Loosely Above

• Optimised: changed at least once.
• Milestone: a thing that occurred while somebody was looking.
• Strategic Convenience: any decision that saved an evening, regardless of what the evening was going to be used for.
• Active: see above.

Appendix B. Statement of Gratitude

In closing, the Office of Coin thanks every player who farmed, crafted, listed, relisted, or simply stood in the capital city wondering what to do first. Your contributions have been noted. They will be noted again next quarter. Meeting adjourned. Minutes will be taken by whoever stops talking first, and distributed to nobody, in the traditional manner, with a cover note that begins, as all cover notes do, with the words “Per my last message.”